Word: DJ Angus & Jules Clarke

DS: Chinese New Year is very much a family time for Hong Kong Chinese families – how do you plan to celebrate yours?

FAG: I plan to take all the advantage of being single at this time of the year and ask for all the red pockets that I am entitled to! After all if you can’t be all loved up, might as well be rich on someone else’s money!

FAG HAG: All loved up with my imaginary boyfriend Edward and a bottle of Pinot Noir – about as fickle as the grape demands really – warm days followed by cool evenings so I can breathe a little as I swirl around the slender flute-like body that encompasses it.

DS: With Valentine’s Day at the middle of this month… if you could have anything (or anyone!) you wanted this Valentine’s Day what and/or who would it be?

FAG: Ouch! Are you suggesting I am so lonely I need to resort to fantasy? That’s insulting! Spending Valentine’s Day alone is just like any other day. Let’s not fall into this Hallmark-holiday-consumerism scam and be a smarter person! And Jules, Robert Pattinson is only hot when he is playing Edward, other times he just looks a little unwashed (read, smelly) and… the truth hurts… but here it is, isn’t Robert Pattinson a little too young for anyone to lust after, except maybe 14 years old high school girls?

FAG HAG: I’d, at first, whet my appetite for eroticism and seduction and inextricably intertwine it with my lust for the character Edward Cullen out of the Twilight movies… and, well, sweat it out with him… I’m getting all hot just thinking about it…

DS: If you were destined to be single this Valentine’s Day what would be your ideal ‘alternative’ to do on that day if you didn’t have a lover to share it with?

FAG:Come on! This quiz sucks. I am already single. I don’t need to be reminded every single minute! (Did I just say single again?). Okay, I am spending Valentine’s Day on my couch watching a TV series from the beginning to end. It’s time to bring out the classic, Sex And The City has six seasons and a movie, it’s all about being SINGLE and FABULOUS – perfect for a Valentine’s Day marathon to ready myself for the second SATC movie being released in April! Did I mention McDonalds 24-hour delivery? KFC anyone? I will be feeding on animals but in a different way to Jules – I prefer my animals deep-fried, full of grease and MSG which surely sounds better sucking blood out of them…?

FAG HAG: I’d focus on my need to feed on the blood of animals and humans so I can survive another night of vampire-aloneness… conjuring up a mythological creature that would get my primal and ancient instinct of the ungodly ou? there on the streets of Honkas!

Dear readers, please help our dear Fag & Fag Hag find a special someone for Valentines – any suggestions email me at richard@dimsum-hk.com alternatively you can send some alternative suggestions to Jules sucking blood from animals and Angus stuffing his face with deep-fried crap!