Word: Betty Grisoni and Abby Lee

As a lot of you might know, Les Peches is a little organisation that holds regular social events for lesbians, bisexual and queer women here in Hong Kong. As less of you might know, Les Peches has been created by a multicultural lesbian – European/Chinese – couple together for close to 11 years and married for almost eight years. With Chinese New Year AND Valentines Day, two of our distinctly different cultures’ celebrations, around the corner, we were thinking of what makes a couple from different backgrounds work. Are cultural differences the basis of our couple or just another difference like any other?

When we first met in Singapore, we had very little idea of each other’s cultures, their similarities or differences – of course we knew the basics, but that was about it. The first major hurdle was when we wanted to come out to each other to make sure that we were not dreaming about our attraction to one another. We met in a straight club and both our gaydars (yes, lesbians have that too) were completely out of whack. The usual signals were not readable. This lead to a few and funny misunderstandings, including the presence of one of our ex’s at our first date (a long story that at the time funny wasn’t as funny as it seems now!).

As the relationship progressed, our cultural differences were just marvellous Pandora’s boxes with amazing discoveries at each conversation… even the most mundane. Both our curious natures and our hunger to know about each other’s lives, beliefs and cultures made our dates so interesting, so lively. Love came quickly and oh so strongly. As some would say, in true lesbian fashion, we moved together quickly and spent all our free time together. This is where some of our cultural differences became a little more difficult to handle. The fiery European personality clashed with the more even tempered Chinese. Were they cultural differences or personality differences? We think maybe a bit of both. Over time, and as every couple in love do, we kept embracing our differences, cultural and personal, making them our strength instead of negative forces.

It quickly became obvious that we were the ‘one’ for each other and that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. We started planning our wedding. We wanted that day to be the coming together of both of our lives, incorporating all the facets that made our relationship what it is. Our wedding included a very Chinese tea ceremony, a Chinese gown, western style vows and ‘I dos’, a western lunch, a float and a very big dance party (yes, we got married in Sydney, the day of the Lesbian and Gay Mardi Gras).

Now married and living in Hong Kong our cultural differences still make our love grow stronger each day. After so many years, we still discover something new every day. Something new that comes from our culture… but not only that. We have grown together and are still amazed that we can still learn from each other.

Our differences are what attracted us in the first place and what are keeping us on our toes, alive and in love every day.

At our Les Peches events, we welcome women (and men too) of all nationalities, ethnic backgrounds, ages and any other differences so they can mix with one another and discover that diversity is a great gift. So girls and boys, mix and be happy and of course Happy Valentines Day and Gong Hei Fatt Choy.

Let us know what you think. Contact us at lespechesinfo@yahoo.com