Word: Betty Grisoni and Abby Lee

Life is made of ups and downs. If you are lucky – more ups than downs, but it is always in motion. Some events are especially ‘life altering’ and when they happen you just have to move around it and continue. We can all agree that a new relationship is one such event. A great whirlpool of love, romance, sex and discovery. However, how much are you willing to become a different person in the name of love, especially in regards to your social life? Does a new love signal the end for your social life? Does going out mean going hunting and once the prey caught and cozy at home, the going out can stop? It seems that this is the case for many of our lesbian sisters.

Of course, we agree that the first few months of a relationship should be spent as much as possible with the beloved. As a couple in love, we love new love and think it should be celebrated. We are hopeless romantics. What we are talking about here, are friends, very good friends that you don’t see any more after they have found a special someone. As organisers of lesbian social events, we, sadly, see the following scenario repeating itself too often: girl is fun and you see her a lot, then girl meets girl, girl and girl are never to be seen again… Thank God to Facebook otherwise search parties might have to be arranged.

Does a new relationship mean a new life, new friends, a new you? Didn’t that special person feel in love with you, the present you, and not the new you? How much are you ready to change for your new partner? Of course, not every couple is like us. For those you know us… you will know what we mean. As a couple, we like to be out and about. We met in a nightclub and our clubbing life is not over yet. Of course we have changed since that beautiful night in 1999. We have built our nest and we think it is pretty comfy and homely. We like to sit on the couch and watch our favorite TV programs (cooking and decorating shows are high on the list). We like staying home, yes, but we enjoy company of our friends – old friends and new people. We believe that being a couple is of course enjoying each other’s company and supporting each other, but it is also important to share that love with the world around us. It is all about balance intimacy and visibility.

Talking about visibility, last month on Monday 17 May over 200 people marked the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia with a candlelight vigil held at Chater Garden. It was a peaceful and meaningful evening with speeches from politicians, testimony from a transgender person and religious representatives. Homophobia and transphobia are crimes not talked about enough. We would like to thank the organisers, the community members that contributed to raise funds for the logistics of the event and of course all of you who were there. Thank you for your visibility.

Let us know what you think at lespechesinfo@yahoo.com