Text‭: ‬Danielle Spencer‭

School for me was like it is for many lesbians and gay folk – awful.

People could see that I was gay before even I could. I didn’t fit in anyway – I was over weight, with red hair and like a lot of gay girls growing up – didn’t like to wear bucket loads of make-up. My girlfriend recently saw an old passport photo of me and her reaction was “Aw… baby dyke”, a friend of mine saw it and asked me if it was a picture of my brother to which I replied flatly, that I am an only child.

It is funny now looking back, on how obvious it must have been for people – but not for me. When I did eventually come out to my friends – their reaction was “its about time – now I have an excuse to go to a gay club”. This lack of shock disappointed me at the time, but when I hear of the horror stories some people have about coming out, I am thankful upon reflection.

My teenage years weren’t so bad really, but I still didn’t like them – so it is hard to imagine what it would be like for others growing up in less accepting schools and cultures.

It doesn’t just make a teenager depressed or anxious about going to school – but it can also have long lasting effects. If you teach young people that their lives have no value, they’ll treat their lives like their lives have no value. They will do things that show that they don’t really respect themselves, such as use drugs or attempt suicide or engage in unprotected sex.

To help gay and lesbian youths overcome social pressure, self-doubt and isolation, it is essential to let them know that they are not alone. If you are a teacher, support and validate your gay and lesbian students’ feelings about their sexuality, assure them of your confidentiality and play an active role in challenging homophobia. If you have a gay or lesbian classmate, don’t judge and don’t label them. Instead, offer your friendship by accepting them for what they are and standing up for them when the going gets rough.
Finally, if you are a gay or lesbian student yourself, seek out classmates, friends or teachers who are gay or lesbian themselves or who accept your sexual orientation – there are people out there who will accept you for who you are, believe me.

There is a long way to go though. In Britain at the moment, a survey suggested that almost two thirds of homosexual pupils have suffered homophobic bullying – with 41% receiving physical attacks and 17% receiving death threats. A number of pupils had been bullied by staff as well.

Having worked in schools in Hong Kong, the atmosphere is a little easier than the rough and tumble you find in British schools. When I have worked in schools here, I have always found that there is at least one gay teacher. That teacher will never be out and proud, but you can tell. The gayest man I have ever known was a local teacher in Hong Kong – he had hello kitty dolls all over his desk and pictures of his dolls at home surrounding him. This I felt was a little too much, but I respected him for putting it out there none-the-less.

At least in Hong Kong, it’s easier for lesbians to fly under the radar. The girls holding hands phenomenon means that baby dykes can be a little less ashamed of public displays of affection.
During my research for this article, I came across a cultural practice infinitely more disturbing in South Africa…

South Africa is supposed to be one of the few African Nations with an accepting attitude towards homosexuality. However, “Corrective Rape” at schools in the Western Cape is a growing concern and some groups have recorded an ‘alarming’ rate of incidences.

Earlier this year, a report by the Human Rights Commission on school violence mentioned the growing crime, where heterosexual male pupils rape lesbian pupils, believing that this will make them heterosexual.

So we should all be thankful that we are here and not there – but as I have said before, the only way that we will make things better for people who are struggling to come to terms with their sexuality in Hong Kong, or people who are going through hell because they were born in a place where they get raped or worse for being gay – is if we stand up and are counted.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill